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Zombeavers (2014)

thecrosseyedwriter-zombeavers

You know how, in most horror films, you’re supposed to root for at least one character to survive?

Not this film – I was rooting for the Zombeavers!

You might not think a film with a title like ‘Zombeavers’ needs much plot, and you’d be right. The writers clearly didn’t put a lot of effort into it.

I’m Team Beaver!

Three women head to a lakeside cabin for a girly weekend after one of them is cheated on by her boyfriend. What nice friends!

Turns out, no, they are not nice friends at all, as one of them has decided to invite her boyfriend, his brain-dead friend, and a third friend, who turns out the be the cheating (ex?) boyfriend.

I mean, seriously?! That’s not a friend, that’s a soap opera villain!

So, apparently, because the three men whinge a bit about driving a long way, even though two out of the three women at the cabin never invited them in the first place, they are allowed to stay.

The women who was cheated on simply has to put up with it, otherwise she’s a ‘spoilsport’.

I may be projecting a bit here but if my friends pulled this kind of crap on me, I’d have joined forces with the zombeavers from the start.

Anyway, there’s quite of bit of awkward socialising, some awkward sex scenes, some further awkward socialising, and an incident with a gruff outdoor woodsman type character.

On the upside, the cheated women gets to knee her ex in the balls when he gets a bit handsy, and there’s a cute dog; so far, so good.

It almost gets a bit Dawson’s Creek before you remember the whole bit about zombie beavers and the action kicks off in true horror style.

(Note, if you like dogs, turn off the film at this point.)

It goes down a fairly predictable route for the rest of the film, but that doesn’t make it any less fun!

Leave It To Beaver

The budget that was supposed to be spent on writers clearly went on paying the puppeteers instead, and the vast amounts of corn syrup being sprayed around.

While they won’t win any awards for realism, the beavers themselves are pretty gruesome, and fairly ingenious.

The story makes the most of the natural talents of real beavers, and then ramps it up to 11 with buckets of blood and gore.

The beavers are voracious, and even appear to have a sense of justice and loyalty when one of their own is dispatched by the cabin group.

The whole thing takes on a new level when the ‘zombie’ part of the zombeavers title really kicks in.

I won’t spoil it, suffice to say, most of the cast gets what was coming to them.

Final Thoughts

This is a gory, bloody romp that you can watch guilt-free, as you will find you dislike all of the main cast by about 30 minutes in.


Spooks: 

Gore:

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